The end is near--but not near enough

"End of Days"
Overall Rating: *½


The new millennium is a little more than a year away, but it's bringing a great deal of hysteria with it. Not learning from the fact that the world didn't end in 999, 1000, or 1001 AD (or any of the other years it was "supposed to" end), and egged on by fears of computers frying themselves due to shortsighted programming, there is more than enough "end of the world" panic to go around. You didn't need to be a prophet to predict that film studios would try to capitalize on this. Though it was really about newly rediscovered writings of Jesus, "Stigmata" tried it's best to look apocalyptic in its previews. Since then, I've seen three movies where the world at least teeters on the edge of apocalypse: "The Omega Code," "Dogma," and, most recently, "End of Days."

"End of Days" opens with great concern in the Vatican over a an omen that predicts someone's birth--and the officials can't decide whether to protect her or kill her. We then see the birth of a girl, whom the hospital nurse promptly takes down to the morgue for a strange, satanic ceremony. Twenty years later, on December 28, 1999, a ominous force takes control of an investment banker (Gabriel Byrne). The banker promptly grabs a woman's breast while kissing her--in the middle of a crowded restaurant--then walks out of the restaurant, which blows up as he leaves. When a mysterious priest tries to kill this banker, his bodyguard, an atheist ex-cop named Jericho Cane (Arnold Schwarzenegger), becomes embroiled in the supernatural battle of the millennium.

"End of Days" is adequate as long as you don't think about it; the pace is fast enough, and it has enough scary scenes that I didn't examine it too closely until it was over. It also has some top-notch stunts and special effects: the scene in Cane's apartment where Cane is fighting his former employer--who he realizes is Satan--is particularly well done, for instance.

Unfortunately, the filmmakers also have several scenes that are woefully underlit; their attempt at a dark look often ends up as a hard-to-see look. Then there are also some scenes with Satan--when he isn't possessing someone--that have a very computer-animated look to them--in a better movie, this might have been easier to overlook, but "End of Days" depends on its effects.

Aside from these filmmaking problems, the filmmakers also hit a general pet peeve of mine: there was no year zero, so the new millennium doesn't start until 2001; I'm already sick to death of the people getting this wrong, so constantly hearing this movie's characters--including priests who should know better--refer to 2000 as the new millennium was like fingernails on a chalkboard. This mistake was only the start of a long list of problems. For instance, after a Jericho asks a priest when the millennium will actually end (with reference to the time zone issue), he is told that it depends on star configurations--later in the movie, we learn that this means that Satan operates on Eastern Standard Time. We don't even get an absurd explanation for the priest who cut out his own tongue--we never learn how he talked. The filmmakers also fail to explain why Satan chose Christine York (Robin Tunney)--the character born at the beginning--as his mate, or why, when she's been having nightmares of being raped by him all her life, she thinks she might simply do what he wants. From little things such as why the Catholic Church sent a Polish peasant with stigmata wounds to New York, to big things like the number of Satanists (about four out of five New Yorkers, if you believe this movie), "End of Days" has plenty of unanswered questions.

While not intelligent enough for adults, "End of Days" is also unsuitable for children. It has copious strong language, frequent references to alcohol and drug abuse, near constant and often bloody violence that's sometimes committed by priests, and strong, pervasive sexual content with some nudity. Parents should also be aware that while some elements of the book of Revelation are alluded to, the movie isn't a Biblical adaptation.

I thought director Peter Hyams' previous effort "2010" was very good, and his "Timecop" was adequate, but "End of Days" is a completely different story: it's highly appropriate that "End of Days" came out on Thanksgiving weekend, because it's a turkey of apocalyptic proportions.


Title: "End of Days"
Release date: November 24, 1999
MPAA rating: R
Overall rating: *½
Aprox. run time: 121 min.
Director: Peter Hyams
Writer: Andrew W. Marlowe
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney

Original URL: http://www.geocities.com/reviewsbyjohn/EndDays.htm
Added to blog site: 7/27/09 (with minor editing)